Sparkalaphobia

I like shiny things. I like sparkles. I even like shiny, sparkly, glittery things — in moderation. But right now, I’ve become overwhelmed by glitter.

It seems everything connected with the Christmas season is doused in glitter. When I bought gift bags, I didn’t realize they would be leaving a trail of glitter from my car, through the garage, and across the kitchen floor. Weeks later, I’m still finding remnants of that glitter on the floor.

The ribbons and ornaments for the tree are also coated in glitter. At this time of year, anything I touch transfers glitter to my hands, face, furniture, or floor. Glitter is almost impossible to wash off the skin. Trying to sweep it off the floor only transfers it to a new area. I’m losing the glitter battle. It’s everywhere, and it’s maddening.

I’ve been thinking about the family coming to visit for the holiday. When the gift bags and the wrapping paper get tossed around, glitter will swirl though the air. Every crack and crevice will be filled with a new layer of the clingy stuff. Just the thought of it makes me break out in a sweat.

Could it be that I’ve developed sparkalaphobia? I didn’t always feel an aversion to glitter, but now I cringe when I’m near the stuff.

If I’m going to get a handle on this phobia before the family gets here, I need to face this thing head-on. I’ll fight fire with fire. I’ll wear glittery nail polish, then douse myself in sparkly eye shadow and lip gloss. It will be like an antidote for the poison. Even if it rains glitter, it won’t matter. I’ll already be glittered.

And the best part, there’s no need to clean house. It already sparkles.